Cooking with the Buddha and Salma Hayek

Blog #28 - Monica Rae

March 16th, 2024

While many children in my suburban neighborhood looked forward to Sunday afternoons so they could play outside with their friends or go to the mall, I was eager to spend hours baking chocolate chip cookies. (The famous Toll House recipe on the back of the yellow chocolate chip bag!)

Each holiday and birthday there were decorations to hang and treats to prepare. Every time my extended family gathered it involved some menu created by the grownups and devoured by the children. Before dashing out to play hide and seek, I scoped out the potluck tables to see if any of my favorite dishes had been made.

I knew I liked food. 

And I never turned down an opportunity to cook.

But I didn't realize my love affair until 1997...

I was standing beside Matthew Perry watching Salma Hayek gather together ingredients while dancing in the kitchen to her native tunes.  Her hips moved in a purple floral dress and her long black hair was shaken side to side as she glided from one counter to the next. The smells of garlic, pepper and tomato permeated the kitchen.  Without knowing what was going to be served, I knew the taste of sweet corn tortillas, green peppers and spices that tickled and heated your tongue hours after you ate. It was sensual and alluring…and maybe…the food tasted even better because of the emotional experience surrounding its delivery.

Ok. 

Confession.

I wasn't right next to Matthew Perry.

But I sure feel it, each time I rewatch the movie, "Fools Rush In." (I still have the VHS tape in a box under my bed even though I no longer own a VHS player!) And yes, for those of you who know the scene I am talking about, I am fully aware that Matthew’s character was more enchanted with how her body was moving in the short dress than what she was cooking on the stove.

“I understand now that I’m not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now, when someone asks me why I cry so often, I say, “For the same reason I laugh so often—because I am paying attention.” – Glennon Doyle Melton

As a child, I knew I was a ‘feeler.’

And I never turned down an opportunity to clearly express myself with words. But neither of these were seen as particularly useful to some people around me, so out of instinct I found comfort elsewhere.

As I became an adult I didn’t stop feeling, writing or talking – I just realized I had been ‘hiding my feelings in my food choices’ for as long as I could remember.  

For me – food is an emotional experience!  

I can’t separate them if I tried! I feel the same way Salma Hayek’s character did when I cook. Although you probably won't find me dancing around my kitchen, unless it's with my toddler as she shakes her African mini afro to the sounds of her older sister's music and giggles at the site of the new cat jumping up the wall to chase a shadow.

But I feel it.

Each time I scrape the green onions off the cutting board into the pan and watch them brown just enough to enhance their flavor. The way the heat of fried chicken can complement the texture of a buttered and seasoned sweet potato and garlic asparagus. When cheese crisps to the edge of black bean quesadilla and you know that is going to be the best bite. Or when my friend Jan would make me her ‘magic’ fruit smoothie for any occasion or the smell of chocolate as it bubbles to the top of a family dessert recipe as it comes out of the oven!

I knew I liked food when I was young.

When I learned how to eat my feelings.

When I was HAPPY, my menu was crispy Eggo waffles, topped with mounds of butter and maple syrup and a scoop of ice cream that melted as soon as it clumped on top of the waffles. I would sit outside in a lawn chair under the California sun, reading a biography or novel and devouring my sugar concoction.

When I was SAD, I’d grab a plate and create a layered salami sandwich filled with Cheetos! And pair the saltiness with chocolate brownies warmed and topped with chocolate chip ice cream and walnuts.  

DAILY I would reach for the next sugar or salt fix to satisfy my body/mind's craving for understanding.  I just didn't know that is what I was doing at the time!

Food became my companion, my confidant because I felt both the joy of its experience and flavors and the acceptance it brought me. It would ease the stress, sadness, confusion or fear I felt!

And I've spent much of the last two decades chasing the same cravings.

The difference now – I know I am doing it!

Is it bad to eat your feelings?

Maybe.

Maybe not. That's for you to decide.

When we are busy chasing someone or something we believe that in our pursuit we will find the answer, the fix, and the problem will no longer exist!

The way health and wellness are advertised and marketed in America depends on this very real disillusionment. It preys on our desire to achieve instant gratification with each purchase we make—whether that's exercise equipment we turn into a coat rack, high priced specialty food that is unaffordable to many, or the latest celebrity selling what they use to feel 'well.' Many doctors are trained to bring cures in the form of medicine or surgery—not ‘what have you been eating?’ or ‘what is your body telling you about how you are feeling?’

Let me be clear though—there is nothing wrong with organic food or gym memberships. In fact, I'm saving up my money to buy the new celebrity written cookbook "JoyFULL"! 

What I am saying is that no amount of wellness purchases, fad diets or calorie counting will make a person INVISIBLE to stress or infection.  Another words, people who are healthy can get sick! And people who eat their feelings can still be healthy. 

Food and I will always be lovers. 

Only now—I feel less controlled by the fix of cravings and more driven to understand myself.

It's taken me years to learn the goal (for me) is not a fix. 

It's about balance.

I'm still in the middle of the ‘ordinary hustle’—work, chores, kids, sleep…repeat. Oh, and in the middle of sickness and car repairs trying to find the hours to plan and cook delicious and healthy meals! 

“Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, a trusted friend is the best relative, liberated mind is the greatest bliss” -- Buddha

I've done yoga off and on for years. I make excuses for not getting to the classes regularly even though I am never disappointed when I go.  But my first meditation was a couple of years ago. Joined by about 8 others it was led by my guru, a woman who has brought clarity to many. Through meditation I am learning just how significant the mind/body connection is.

My quest for wellness in the last couple of decades has led me to read at least 1,000 cookbooks, cooking blogs, meditation apps, and health/nutrition podcasts.  After being diagnosed with multiple illnesses over the years, I realized that while I can't control exactly how my cells work or what outside stressors appear in the weekly schedule, I can make choices about what foods I eat, how much sleep I get and how I take care of my mind. 

I don't chomp on carrots for breakfast or eat celery for supper. I don't work out at the gym in my apartment complex (my full-time job keeps me on my feet!), and I don't buy all things organic. I do, however, spend hours each week preparing food and meal lists for a balanced and savory food affair experience!

I try to bring enough fiber and protein while reducing sugar but not sacrificing taste! Most importantly I have learned how critically important veggies are! But Cheetos and ice cream...aren't in my house!

I have also learned—I have MORE to learn!

Savory food is my love language, my weakness, my fuel and my passion. So, it makes sense that in my current pursuit of wellness and balance, my blog would reflect my journey. 

Please stay tuned for further food blogs—each a reflection on my experience and my taste buds. And I will share two recipes at the end of each blog.  

I don't know what Salma Hayek was pretending to prepare in "Fools Rush In"...but I like to believe it had flavors similar to these tostadas.

 “CHICKEN TOSTATAS”

Ingredients:

8 corn tortillas (drizzle with olive oil both sides and put in oven at 400 degrees for 3-4 mins depending on your oven)

8 ounces of corn

1 ½ cups shredded cooked chicken

8 ounces salsa (mild or spicy whatever you prefer)

Taco seasoning packet (use however much you like!)

15-ounce black beans drained

2 cups Colby Jack cheese

Roma tomatoes cut up into pieces

Spinach leaves

Instructions: Cook tortillas as instructed above. In saucepan add chicken, salsa, taco seasoning, black beans and stir over medium heat about 5 minutes. After taking tortillas out of oven lay a few spinach leaves on top, add chicken salsa mixture, top with cheese, tomatoes and return to oven for 5-7 minutes. *Top with avocados and more tomatoes if you like. Or you can make them ‘pizza style’ with pizza sauce, spinach, black beans, cheese, and avocadoes!

And because I usually can't end my day without something sweet this is a ‘throwback’ to growing up making cookies on Sunday afternoons.

"DARK CHOCOLATE OAT COOKIES" (with nuts and flaxseed)

Ingredients:

1 ½ cups of oats                                1 cup flour                              2TB corn starch

¾ tsp of baking soda                         3 tsp cinnamon                      ½ tsp salt                  

¼ cup of butter (melted or soft)      1/3 cup brown sugar            1 egg

1-2 tsp vanilla                                    ½ cup olive oil                       ½-2/3 cup walnuts or pecans

Flaxseed (1-2 TBSP whole seed)     ½-3/4 cup dark chocolate chips

Instructions:

Mix all ingredients. Put in freezer for 20-30 minutes. Take out and place spoonful of dough on baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 6-8 minutes (depending on oven—I like mine gooey!). Makes 2-3 dozen cookies (depending on size)

DEDICATION: To my guru 'C', my friends Britt and Lara whose many recipes are staples in my home, my daughters (and weekly flavor tasters),

and Jan for all the smoothies (but really so much more!!)